The Noble Character: A Tribute to Miss Jane - Part 6, Olders and Elders

This is a tribute to my dear friend Miss Jane. I’d like to tell you about her because, by God’s grace, she didn’t waste her life, and that’s probably the highest compliment any of us could ever hope to receive from anyone. This is partly about some of the events and people of her life, but more than that it is also about some of the things she taught me and how she influenced me, to the Glory of God. Thus, in reading about her un-wasted life, may you receive God’s grace to make the best use of yours.

Miss Jane was a magnolia blossom: bold, luminous, and fragrant. Your first encounter with her was distinct and unforgettable, yet you could never quite figure her out no matter how long you knew her. Thus I never wearied of her. She brimmed with common sense, always with the desire to nourish you. Honestly, her wholesome, coherent worldview is puzzling to my generation who approach the world by our desires instead of by its design. To her, any deviation from using things by their design was non-sensical. When Mary put that normal BBQ sauce on her chicken, she might as well have asked for a hammer to butter her bread because, to Miss Jane, sure it was possible, but it worked against the design.

That first meal paved the way to a real friendship of mutual delight. Mary and I had many more meals with her after that – at Big Bob’s and elsewhere – and every date increased our delight in her eccentricity. 

I’ve had many other friendships with many other elders. Perhaps some of you younger people will understand when I say this: I’ve often faked it with older people. Acting like I’m better-behaved than I really am, laughing at jokes that aren’t funny, keeping the answers simple lest my real opinions expose my real faults. Watching the clock, looking for an exit, and never really enjoying the other person. You’ve probably done that too; most young people do. You elders reading this probably did it when you were young.

Yet in a very short time of knowing Miss Jane, we learned the difference between someone who is an elder and someone who is an older. (I don’t at all mean a Church Elder as Paul or Peter describe, that’s something totally different; I mean elder as in elderly, as described in Leviticus 19:32, and Psalm 71:18, and Proverbs 16:31.) She was one of the amazing people who helped us distinguish between olders and elders.

An older expects to be served simply on the basis of their age. Whether it’s a 5 year old or a 15 year old or a 45 year old or a 95 year old, olders vaunt their status simply because they are older. It all just comes down to dominance. 

On the other hand, an elder leads, which, of course, means they serve. It is a manifold servanthood, because they’ve given it a life of practice. They create an environment of freedom and candor wherever they go. They prove that old wisdom tastes better than young naivety, as wine is better than a pixie stick. Therefore they have no need to condescend the young. They are unequivocally un-threatened and unimpressed by boasting of any kind. They demonstrate that being more truthful never requires you to be less respectful. They keep a single, constant, silent prayer to God all the time, often asking Him for wisdom to share with those who hunger for it. 

I think, perhaps, some people really did consider Miss Jane as nothing more than an older. Anyone who regarded her as just an older will never know what they missed, like winning a vacation in the Alps only to oversleep when the boat leaves. What a loss! To us, though, she was our beloved elder: unembarrassed of her individuality and ours; feeding us a steady flow of encouragement and rebuke as fit the need. 

She constantly served us, even when she could no longer move very well. Looking back on some of the harder times, the hospital times and the late-night times and the dying times, I had faced those hours with the assumption that she could really use someone younger by her side, getting her water, quoting Scripture, praying, fetching a needed item here and there from her apartment. I had aspired to be, you know, her servant, just like our Lord Jesus. Many of you reading this spent far more time serving her than I did.

But of course, now that she’s gone, I realize that a big reason she really kept guys like me around is because she wanted to render us the same favor.